Notice Nature- Be Curious
A week after my husband and I got married, we moved to an island in the Caribbean for my husband's medical schooling. Living in the Caribbean for two years sounded exciting to me at first and I looked forward to experiencing the beauty of an island that I had heard such good things about.
But soon after moving there I had to find a job as an immigrant, get along with a boss with a very different personality, and live so far away from family. The island quickly lost its luster to me. Instead of being an island of beauty it actually became a very dark place for me.
Whenever we came back to the states to visit, people anxiously waited to hear about how amazing it was to live in such a beautiful place. They expected me to give details on the snorkeling, the sunsets and the beaches, but instead, I always talked about how hard it was to live there. I could tell that they were disappointed to hear these details and to be honest, I was disappointed to give them. I lived in one of the most beautiful places on earth and yet, I was too overwhelmed with the challenges of life to see it.
Unfortunately, life was never easy enough for me to notice nature. I was always too worried about something, to pay attention to the sunset. I always seemed to miss it.
It wasn't until four years later that I decided that I would try to start noticing nature (like my husband) in an attempt to help my depression. This took a while for me to understand and grasp, but ultimately I learned that the best way to see nature is to look at things as if I was seeing them for the first time and the easiest way for me to do this was to try to describe what I saw in words.
I love words. I love trying to figure out to describe things with them. So I began doing this with nature. I started writing down details of the things I saw around me, trying to capture my experience on paper. As I did this, I began to notice things I hadn't noticed before. The colors, the smells, the sounds, the light and the reflections.
Without realizing it, a subtle feeling began to grow within me. I began not only seeing the beauty around me with my eyes, but I began feeling the beauty inside me.
This was the connection I was searching for. This feeling. It was an appreciation...so deep. An appreciation for the world around me. An appreciation for my chance to witness something so beautiful. An appreciation for nature.
This connection had to be made repeatedly and I clearly remember the first experience I had when trying to apply this concept during a very difficult and overwhelming time. I had just had my third baby and it was the middle of the winter (in Montana). We lived in a small dark two bedroom apartment, and my husband was gone for weeks at a time. I slowly became depressed. I remember laying in my bed one day, crying while my kids watched tv (which made me feel worse).
After lying there for several hours I decided that I needed to practice what I had spent the last couple of years learning about depression. I tried to think of something I could do to help me and decided that I needed to go outside with my kids while the new baby slept. This thought in an of itself made me cry even more. It was well under 10 degrees outside which meant I needed to dress my kids in their winter clothes which takes soooo long. I also didn't necessarily want to go out into the cold, but I made the decision.
Then I forced myself to sit up.
I forced myself to put my feet on the floor and then
I forced myself to stand.
I forced myself to begin gathering my kids' clothes and I told them to help me get them ready. I did yell at them a couple times... all while crying still. But I opened the door and we walked outside. My kids loved being outside in the snow. They ran and played, and I sat there in my chair bundled.
After being outside for only a couple of minutes, the tears stopped. I enjoyed watching my kids play, and I looked at my surroundings to find things to describe, as I mentioned above. I noticed how beautiful and bright the snow looked. After a little while I even got out of my chair and chased my kids around.
I was amazed how much better I felt after going outside. It was as if the very air in nature possessed an antidepressant I needed.
Words helped me make this connection to nature that I have enjoyed, but there are many other ways people do this.
My sister is a painter and is amazingly talented at capturing the beauty of the ocean and many other things in her work. Upon talking with her, I've realized that painting does, for her, what writing does for me. When she sees a scene in front of her, she pays special attention to the colors, thinking of ways to duplicate them in oils. This helps her connect.
Some like to master photography, using special lenses to capture nature while others like to experience nature through gardening, outdoor sports, camping, hiking, etc.
Below I have posted a great song that illustrates the importance of being curious about our surroundings. It is this curiosity that has helped me realize that
Nature isn't there for us to see only when life is good;
It's there always to help us see, the good in life.
